Do hard things
A monthly reset for those who want to be sharper and more connected.
Once when I was a kid, I got frustrated and told my dad, “I hate this. I wish it was easy.” In response, he said, “No, you don’t. Because then it wouldn’t be worth it.”
I feel like this applies to everything.
How amazing is it that today we have the technology to live more comfortably than any human ever before us. This applies across dozens of domains from utilities like air conditioning, refrigerators, running water, and plumbing to cars, phones, and computers. While the Internet is no longer new, we now have new tools in the form of AI and LLM to communicate with computers more easily than ever before. The resources to learn and pursue your interest have never been more readily available.
This is not to say there is no inequity or that everyone has equal access to resources. However, I believe that if you do have access to these resources, you are obligated to utilize the privilege of that network and infrastructure to become the best possible version of yourself.
That means doing hard things.
I hear this shouted online all the time, and I love it, but I find that the message is one dimensional only referring to physical development.
Yes, you should lift exercise Yes, you should eat whole, diverse foods in appropriate quantities. Yes, you should strive to be in the best physical condition you can be.
But that’s not the only goal worth pursuing.
Today, I want to talk about the difficult endeavors everyone should pursue.
1. Organize and Create a Plan for Your Life
Life is going to happen whether you have a plan for it or not. You can wake up and float through days, months, and years and see what happens, or you can have a tangible plan and act on it.
When I was younger, I used to walk into math tests thinking, “Maybe I’ll just guess right enough times to pull out an A.”, and trust me, I never did. Time after time, I bombed these tests, and one day I realized, “You know what? I’m going to fail out of school if I think I can luck my way through this.”
Luck is residue from working hard, and we can start to create it by having a plan. Of course, life isn’t simple. We need to pivot when necessary. But asking yourself a few foundational questions is a powerful start:
- In 5–10 years, where do I want to see myself?
- What kind of career and role do I see myself in?
- What am I looking for in a partner?
- What am I proficient in?
- What am I not proficient in?
- What resources do I currently have?
- What resources do I need?
Use this as your backbone and update it as you go. If you fail, keep moving and try again, or pivot. If you succeed, proceed to the next marginally, more difficult step. This plan can live as a simple statement in your head, but I strongly encourage journaling and writing things down.But this isn’t easy. You will encounter obstacles and hardships along the way, and that’s what makes it hard. To maintain momentum, break goals down into the smallest manageable tasks and execute consistently.
Why is this hard?
Because being consistent is difficult, it’s easy to give up. Period. When you’re down, you might think, “This is stupid, why am I doing this?”
Complacency is easy, comfortable, you can't fail if you don't start, but being bad at something is the price of admission. We often think accomplishing goals requires ferocious intensity and perfect execution. That’s not true, accomplishments take years. Failure along the way is almost guaranteed.
We fight this by starting small, staying consistent, and having a plan.
2. Connect and Give Back to Your Community
Before I start yapping away I want to share a strategy that I found helpful to meet people. Where applicable, when you walk into a room, introduce yourself to anyone you may not already know. It sounds simple, but I found that people appreciate the effort, and shows that you are confident, and a strong communicator.
………anyways
We have more ways to connect via phone call, facetime, email, social media than ever before, yet people are reportably lonelier than ever. I think that we are hyperfocused on ourselves and the imaginary world we perceive through the internet. There's a concept called a third place which is defined as a social environment, distinct from home ("first place") and work ("second place"), where people regularly gather, connect, and build community. Coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg in 1989.
We can argue about the availability of third places in areas like the suburbs or rural areas, but the point I'm trying to emphasize is that connecting with the people around you will give you a sense of community you might be missing. Below are a few ways I think you can connect to third places around you, and the people within.
Have a go to a coffee shop, bar, or restaurant and get to know the baristas/waiter/bartender by name. How cool is the dude that walks in and says, “I'll have the usual” Legend.
Have a barber or hair dresser. No more supercuts, get out of here with that.
Attend free events around town, whether it be a yoga class, a watch party, whatever.
Do things with co-workers outside of work. People have a different personality and guard up at work, and doing something together outside of work might make a friend out of them. “No Colton i didnt know you had Pokemon tattoos that sick dude.”(Thats a real quote by me btw)
Mentor someone whether it be at work, someone you know, or a program in your city.
I think we all crave connection and friendship at the end of the day, but this is difficult because it takes work. Inconvenience is the price we pay for connection. Of course after a long day at work i dont always want to go play ultimate frisbee with Ben from accounting. But the alternative is sitting at home by yourself rotting. Giving back is how we can derive purpose as well. This is also hard because it requires you to not think about yourself, and invest in something or someone else.
3. Romanticize Your Life
Last one, I promise. I thought this was going to be one paragraph.
You are the culmination of billions of years of evolution, living in the most advanced age in human history. You were the one who won the race against all odds and here you are. Today, right now you can go learn about ANYTHING. Reach out to ANYONE. Drive ANYWHERE.
I want you to grasp the scale of that.
As you move through your day, think about the potential embedded in it. Romanticize it.
Read.
Journal.
Make videos about things you care about.
Take photos with friends and family.
Reach out randomly and reconnect with friends.
Build things. Break things.
You are the main character in your life, so act like it.
Be the adult version your childhood self hoped you’d become.
Thinking about your future requires time, research, and energy. It requires admitting your deficiencies and choosing a path. Long-term action is complex and difficult, but it yields the deepest sense of purpose.
“And if it were easy, it wouldn’t be worth doing.” — Carlos Orihuela