A man walks into a bar
You are at your favorite local sports bar. It's 5:30 on a Friday, and the bar is filling up with people coming and going. You are sitting people watching minding your business.
A man walks into the bar. This man addresses the bartender by name and shakes his hand. He asks the barkeep how his week was with a smile on his face. Next, you see a couple walk in and sit at a booth, but don't talk to one another, but rather sit on their phones in silence the entire time. After that, a woman walks in with friends and you overhear that they all just got back from a group trip to the Grand Canyon for the first time. They have recently picked up hiking, and want to plan other trips all over. They are smiling and laughing and can't stop talking about it. Next you see two men who look like coworkers, they sit in almost silence next to each other, only talking about work, both looking like they want to leave. Lastly you hear a guy loudly complaining about someone who isn't there, picking apart everything they do, blaming them for stuff, never once considering his own role in the situation.
All of these people are versions of yourself. Which of these people would you want to be around, the ones that stand out as kind, interested, and interesting, or the boring sullen, angry version? Would you sit down with the current version of yourself? Are you interested in enough things to be interesting? Do you have your own thoughts and opinions? As you see the people come and go you begin to think about what you see in each person.
The man who walks in and knows the bartender by name. This is the person who introduces themselves to those around them and remembers names. They are energetic to be around and lift those around them. Are you like this person? Are you a generally positive person? Would you buy yourself a beer?
The couple on their phones not communicating with one another. They are together, but not connecting. I think that all the time we spend on our phones, and redundant content we consume actually makes us more and more boring. We wake up, go to work so we can sit in front of a screen, only to go home and sit in front of an even bigger screen, and then get in bed and stare at our little screen before we go to sleep. This is the time we could be connecting and be present with those around us.
The woman and her friends coming back from a trip. They have a shared experience and a new hobby to explore. People who have interests ARE INTERESTING. They are doing new things and continuing to learn! Continuous learning is a staple that keeps you growing as a person. Contrast this with the two coworkers sitting next to each other, who have let their job become their entire identity.
Einstein once said “The man who stops learning is the man who remains a child” Probably, I don’t know i made that up, but it sounds like something he would say.
Here's a real quote "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young." — Henry Ford. See look at that you learned something. I even worked with someone once who told me they didn't read because they already went to school and didn't need to read anymore.
That’s crazy
Becoming educated in anything takes time and focus, yet we have more resources now to learn about anything and everything more easily than ever. If you are not making a conscious effort to become more versed in SOMETHING, then you are leaving untapped potential on the table. The last guy hasn't said a single positive thing since he sat down. He's been on the phone for an hour tearing apart someone who isn't here to defend themselves. People like this don't plan or even want to be this way, but often we are a product of our environment even if we are not aware of it. I think it's really difficult to not share the same values, opinions and practices as those around you. When I was in undergrad I felt that I let my community shape my thoughts and values too much. I got in trouble once for being drunk on campus and had to go to an alcohol safety class. In the class they asked me “ What percentage of students at Auburn do you think drink over 3 days a week?” I don't remember the exact number but I believe I had said something like over 60% of students drank.
The answer was 15%. So clearly my perception of what was a normal practice was skewed. Being able to stand for your own values and beliefs is a life skill everyone should be able to do.
A good rule of thumb for me, the world is not black and white, it is grey, and anyone whose opinions are based in decisive “you either feel this way, or that way” or “You have to do this, or that” I find is typically uninformed and simplifying life too much.
As the night winds down, you close your tab and head for the door, as you walk out the bar you see yourself in a mirror, which version of yourself do you see?
Do you like that person?